Who You Were
I recently attended an event at Bryant University and was having lunch with an assortment of people. What we all had in common was a relationship with Bryant. As the conversation progressed two of them realized that they were both Bryant Alumnae from 25 or so years ago. The more they talked, they figured out that they lived in dorms next to each other. As they continued to search for connections, one of them said, “Oh, NOW I remember who you were!”
I think that hit a nerve in me. I wasn’t sure how I would react to having someone remember who I was. Of course, it is usually flattering when somebody remember us … but I don’t think I want to be remembered for who I was. I want to be acknowledged for who I am!
When I look back over my life, there are some things that I am proud of … and things that – in retrospect – are humiliating. Those aren’t what I want to be remembered for. I don’t want to be locked into and limited by who I was.
Sure, there are lots of things about myself that are the same now as decades ago, and there are obvious differences. But I know that in some fundamental ways, I am not the person today that I was then. I have come a long way since then … I believe I am a much better human being now.
What about you? How do you want to be remembered? Do you want to be remembered for the person you were … or the person you are?
The other side of that is how do you remember others? When you think back decades ago, do you remember them for the person they were back then … or the person they are now. To what extent do you hold someone’s past against them, and to what extent can you allow for the possibility for change and accept them for who they are now?
Maybe another question is the extent to which you still beat yourself up for being who you were in your past and to what extent can you accept that that was then and this is now?
We all have a past … and we all live in the present … and we all have potential. I want people to think of me as who I am in this present moment … and to see my potential. We all have an Inner Magnificence … even though sometimes there are parts of our past when our lives were less than “magnificent.”
As for me, I want to be seen for who I am, not limited by or remembered just for who I was.
The next time you get to reminiscing – either about your past, or someone else’s – choose to see the good., choose to see the potential. Step into your splendor, embrace who you are in the present … get to know others for who they are in the present. Celebrate the Magnificence – yours and their’s.
The extent to which you do, is the extent to which you’ll be able to say, “I feel good about being me!” …. And that’s a promise!
Image Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/gleonhard/16454586467
I guess the expression,” Now I know who you are” seems, to me, a common one on seeing someone from long ago. I do not feel any judgment in it.
I do like your thoughts expressed in your different columns. I do not like the phrase,” inner magnificence”. I had not heard it before. I have always thought of the goodness within me as the “Holy Spirit” who helps me to be the best I can be!
The response was “Now I know who you WERE.”
Yes … your Inner Magnificence IS the Holy Spirit within, and for those who don’t resonate with Christian language, the Inner Magnificence is another way of talking about the same concept…just without the overlay of religion.